"As a Woman, You're Supposed To..."

Women can be misogynistic too!

Think about the speech "We Should All Be Feminists" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie featured in Beyonce's song ***Flawless. 

Just to refresh your memory, Adichie says: "We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: 'You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you will threaten the man.' Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices, always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now, marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don't teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes."

Don't feel threatened

Just because I am pro-female does not mean that I am anti-male, just as me being pro-black does not make me anti-white. Equality between men and women is long overdue. If you feel as though men are suffering nowadays, just remember that men aren't losing, women are just gaining after being left out for so long. Men and women alike are responsible for the cultural shift, which is really encouraging.

Slut shaming is unfair and dangerous

The speech says, "We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are." Understand this: Women are sexual beings, not sexual objects. We do not exist solely for your enjoyment. Women who choose to explore their sexual boundaries shouldn't feel ashamed, especially since men are encouraged to do the same. If you think a close female friend or family member is engaging in unsafe sexual behaviors, the goal is to get them professional help, not demonize them for their choices. Side note: Usually your input outside of emotional support is harmful, because the potential issue could be deeper than you know.

Don't tell us what to do

We women are well aware of how to carry ourselves; our behavior is none of your concern. Before throwing old stereotypes at us, ask yourself this: Am I mature enough to to control myself in their presence? Did I check my ego at the door? 

We're grown, and don't need anyone, male or female, criticizing our actions, especially if humiliation is the goal. The days of blaming women for their societal position are over...

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