We have good friends, we have bad friends, and we have good friends that sometimes do or say the wrong things. This is a guide for you to decide for yourself, is a person really supporting you or are they plotting your emotional downfall?
They point out things that you can't fix right away.
Example: Don't talk about my eyebrows if you know I can't get them cleaned up until next week, ignore the pimple on my face and have several seats in regards to my weight.
They constantly criticize the way you dress, talk, etc. and are stingy with compliments.
For every negative interaction, there has to be five positive interactions to balance it out. If you're not getting that, then you have an explanation for all those negative vibes.
They are often inconsiderate of your feelings.
This is pretty self-explanatory, but just to go a little deeper: a "friend" can be generally rude and not care at all about how their words or actions affect you. They'll cover it up by saying "That's just me! You know how I am..." Yes, you are a jerk and very immature. *moves on*
They disrespect your time.
Instead of sending you a text or calling you for an update, they will leave you wondering when you'll show up (or do your share of the work, or anything else time sensitive). This is the worst when they promise to help you, or they need your help.
Excuses like "I forgot" or "I fell asleep" tells you a lot about a person's organizational skills. If they don't have that respect for you or themselves, then they can't be offended when you start to distance yourself from their bad habits.
Their jokes are more hurtful than humorous.
They bring up subjects or particular instances that they know you're sensitive about to shock an audience and/or get approval from others. If and when you ask them to stop, they ignore you.
They are inconsistent.
Friends that are only your friends around certain people are not your friends. I'll leave it at that.
They can't help you but always want something.
Self-explanatory.
They are slow to come to your defense if it interferes with their goals.`
Example: You're (heaven forbid) seriously drunk at a party with your friends. Instead of taking care of you, they leave to go to another party and don't take you with them because you'll ruin their fun.
They leave you out so that you don't steal their shine.
Example: Your friend has a kickback and invites everybody but you. When you ask why, he admits that he's uncomfortable because you make his girlfriend laugh too much (...but you barely notice that she exists because you're into her best friend).
They otherwise diminish your greatness.
They are quick to point out your failures and almost never share in your successes. Instead of building your confidence, they remind you of all your limitations by bringing up problems without offering solutions. People like this will eventually make you hate yourself.
Try your best to choose your friends wisely from the jump. Time reveals everything, good or bad, and this especially applies to friendships. Surround yourself with people who want to see you happy and get rid of those who don't. I hope this helps somebody.
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