The Truth About You & Oomf

Only if #Oomf stop playing

— Darius B (@TeamMrPerfect) July 6, 2016

I'm gonna stop you riiiiiiight there. 

Oomf? What's an oomf? The sound you make when you bump into a wall? I'm just playing... kind of like your precious oomf is. Let's be honest here. When you're addressing oomf, there are a few points that can be easily made about you and them. And no, none of them are good.

1. That is not your SO. You do not need to reference them on social media.

I promise you, your TL is not interested in what oomf said to you today, what you and oomf did for breakfast, none of that. If that's not you, then keep it to yourself.

2. We don't even know who they are...

Y'all won't @ the "oomf" y'all always talking about though 🌚

— Trea Johnson (@LegacyOfNothing) June 15, 2016

Why aren't you allowed to say their name? Are you ashamed of them? Are they ashamed of you? Why can you spend all day talking about them if you can't claim them? 

3. Admit it, you live for the drama.

You just want somebody to hit you with a slick "Who you talking about?" text. You want people to be all up in your business, so you can tell them "Mind your own business!" Y'all ain't slick, you're messy and that's why you're stuck in a situationship. Sorry.

4. Oomf lives for the drama too.

They love to see you ranting and raving about them every time they check their phone. Y'all are perfect for each other.

What's the conclusion?

We get it, you like someone but you can't say who it is, because chances are you'll never get what you want. It's easier to reference an "oomf" than a real person, because oomfs aren't real. If it doesn't work out between you two, there's a lot less embarrassment. But I've got a tip for you, beloved. Just keep it to yourself.