Can You (Still) Focus On Me?

In the previous post, #thethingiwrote was how trauma competitions disguised as venting sessions ultimately minimize emotional impact. This post is a continuation, where I'm breaking down a couple of other lazy and/or unhealthy practices that can permanently weaken emotional bonds.

Refusal to be physically present 

Technology increases connectivity where it counts; meanwhile, we use it as an out for not being there when tech just isn't good enough. Stop texting, and say what you need to say face to face. To take it a step further, when you do decide to grace your loved ones with your presence, put your phone down. Bonds weren't built with distractions, and they can't be sustained with you letting them get in the way either.

Here for a good time, not a long time

Let's say you're a rider for someone, the same support is expected from them, but they're nowhere to be found during your darkest hours. Hold up, that's a violation. Respect is a tricky subject since individuals set their own limits, but if you find yourself in a position where your "rider" disappears when you need them, it's illogical to fix your mouth to say they respect you, because the evidence says otherwise. Don't let anybody care about you quietly.

This stage isn't big enough for the both of us

Purposely engaging in jealous, melodramatic, or overly competitive behavior to deflect attention away from someone else and onto yourself, is narcissistic at best and Machiavellian at worst. Why is it so hard to let someone else shine? Why the need for rude comments or sabotage? What makes you think someone wants to be close to a person like that?

Emotional bonds can and do break. Bonds are not hard to maintain. Let me repeat myself, bonds are not hard to maintain. But, my guess is that societal attitudes and technology will be the cop out for those who say otherwise. Emotion-based relationships take WORK. If you can't maintain the bond, move out the way so someone who can, will.

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