Post-Grad Depression, Despite My Blessings? Maybe So.

This is not me...

For a long time, I couldn't understand what my problem was.

Immediately after I graduated from college, I had a car, my family, my degree and plenty of career opportunities. It's pretty much exactly what you can ask for in an ideal post-grad situation. The problem was, none of that could keep me from the restlessness, isolation, and waves of uncertainty.

Yes I had plans, but my goals felt like someone else's goals. Yes I socialized, but my daily interactions were just me on auto-pilot. I began to evaluate everything and everyone as temporary, which is actually terrifying, because that same feeling begins to apply to yourself. You're reminded of your own mortality.

I began to release myself from this mindset

On July 27th, I followed advice suggested to me months prior by my friend Mo (plug: check out his music). He told me to use the law of attraction to manifest the life I want to live. 

I pulled out my notebook, and began to write down everything that I wanted as specifically as possible, no matter how selfish or impossible it sounded. As I wrote, I poured all of my energy in, with the explicit goal of making all of my intentions come true.

Three days later, I was T-boned by a driver that wasn't paying attention as they pulled into traffic.

According to the EMTs that arrived a few minutes later, without my seatbelt on, I would've absolutely been ejected from the vehicle and died in the middle of the street. I wish I could say that I'd found a new lease on life, but I can't because that's not true. 

What I did find though, was a glimmer of opportunity. After all, just three days before the accident, I poured my heart's desire onto a piece of paper...

It was time to put my intentions to work.

Every day wasn't easy. Every day wasn't perfect. Some days, the day wasn't even mine to control. But, I always focused on my intentions. I prayed over them every morning and slept with them under my pillow every night. Before I knew it, three things on my list would manifest, then five, then seven. It was working and my life was changing because I was kind to myself and obedient to my process.

Today, whenever I get a chance to put my power to the test, I take it because I know that I can get whatever I want. You do too. It's not magic, but it's something that really pulled me through.