This past Friday has been the first time in a long time I haven't completely drowned under the pressure of work. The anxiety of other people has worn on me for so long, that for months I've been believing everything will fall apart if I'm not working triple overtime to quiet their concerns. Initial inconveniences eventually gave way to deep resentment and my own terribly anxious moments. Up until last night, I've been sleeping too little or too much, always with work on my mind; I've even dreamed about tasks that needed to be done, only to wake up realizing those tasks don't exist.
Well, surprise, surprise, I finally hit rock bottom and I feel so much better! You know why? Because even if all those things I've believed about my importance are true, that's not my problem. I needed a day to get myself together, so that's exactly what I (mostly) did.
There is no honor or glory in self-exploitation
If you know you're a good worker and the load feels too heavy, that's probably because it is. Everyone has to take one for the team sometimes, but at some point, they're on their own. Plan your day ahead of time, schedule breaks if you have to work, and don't fold on yourself. Their last-minute emergency is just that, not yours.
Your job is not your personality
My value as a human being is worth more than my work ethic and upcoming tasks. I believe to be true for all people whether we tap into it or not. If I don't set boundaries to be who I am now, when will I have the opportunity? My job is not my personality and your job is not yours.
Update your résumé
When the pipeline seems neverending, it's not uncommon to lose perspective. I took some time to run reports on my work and was surprised at the impact I've made. Again, my worth is not solely based on my work, but it's important to see it's not all for nothing.
There will always be bad days
Coming to terms with not always having control is better for work-life (un)balance than repeatedly disappointing yourself in the quest for perfection.
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